


“and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks.”

by notjustmom



Series: Towel Day 2018 [10]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Douglas Adams, Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, John stuck in an elevator, M/M, Towel Day 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 01:25:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14842922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: Imagine John somehow gets stuck in an elevator when he is out of town, and he calls Sherlock while he waits to be rescued...





	“and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks.”

"Damn. Nooooo. I knew I should have taken the stairs. Why didn't I take the bloody stairs?" John picked up the red emergency phone and was relieved to find it still working, and even more relieved when a polite female voice on the other end interrupted his broken German to let him know that she did in fact speak his native tongue and that help would get to him as soon as possible, but it was a Sunday, and things were a bit slow on Sundays, but she hoped this event would not colour his overall enjoyment of his stay. He listened as patiently as he could, then gently interrupted her seemingly neverending stream of words.

"Certainly, I understand. Apologies, my phone is ringing."

"Yes, of course. Please feel free to call if I can be of further assistance."

He hung up the red phone carefully then slid down the wall until he was fully seated on the elevator floor. He recalled charging his phone the night before and hoped with every atom of his being that he had, in fact, remembered to slip it into his pocket as he left the hotel room. Yes. He opened his contacts and pressed Sherlock's name, swearing as he watched his hand tremble slightly. He switched the phone to his right hand and closed his eyes as he waited for the call to be answered. "Answeransweranswer..."

"John? I thought you'd be giving your talk."

"Well, obviously, I'm not. Currently, I am stuck in an elevator."

"Stuck in an elevator. You don't like elevators. You avoid them like the plague."

"I know, but I was running late, and I got into it, and the door closed, and it starting moving and then it stopped moving, and then alarms went off..."

"Did you use the red phone? Someone knows you are stuck?"

"Yes. I called them before I called you. But it is a Sunday could be a while -"

"Want me to call Mycroft?"

"Why would you do that?"

"He knows people, perhaps he can get the wheels of bureaucracy turning a bit faster, Merkel owes him a few favours, something to do with trade, I think... not positive, but I can ask him - I'm sure I'll have to work on something tedious in exchange..."

"No. Just. Can you just talk to me? The walls are getting closer. I know they aren't really - it just feels that way. And perception, at times, can feel more real than reality. I understand if you are busy - you are probably on a case - damn. You are, aren't you?"

"Doesn't matter. The victim isn't going to get any deader - they can wait."

"No, please, maybe you could go ahead and do what you do and I'll just listen?"

"Are you sure, John?" Sherlock glanced up to see Lestrade and Donovan watching him impatiently. "Right. Good. Victim is male, 25 - 30 years of age, no obvious signs of violence on the body... sniff... no indications of poison as yet... I'm actually not sure why I was called in, except for the fact that the victim is the son of an MP who is making waves where she should not be making waves..." He narrowed his eyes at Lestrade and got to his feet. "My brother's doing? Or did she insist that you call me in, because he was discovered in an 'unsavoury location' for a lad of his class?"

"Sherlock. Focus on the case. There is a reason you were called in, whether it was political or not, he deserves the same attention, if foul play is not indicated, then you can go home, or hop on a plane and sit outside this dreadful contraption that I am stuck in and once I'm freed, we can -"

"Hold that thought, John." Sherlock removed the victim's shoes and socks and checked between the toes. "A-ha! Puncture mark. Just one. I see no evidence that he was a habitual user, but check his home, his friends, his bank account. Lestrade, you know what to look for. If there is no evidence that he used, then someone has tried to make it look like a natural death, and you will probably find the culprit amongst his mother's enemies. Now, if there is nothing else, I have a plane to catch."

After a moment, Lestrade nodded. "Got it, go. Tell John I wish him luck - where is he?"

"Germany. He was supposed to give a talk - he'd be about ten minutes in by now, and I'd be quietly snoring already, but that's neither here, nor there, really. Must dash." Sherlock raised his hand and a taxi appeared. "Gatwick... John. I need to call my brother to make sure the jet is ready, I'll phone you right back, I promise. I love you."

John blew out a breath slowly, then cleared his throat. "I'll be - hurry back?"

"I will, I promise... Brother, mine, I need the jet - no questions asked, all right... I was going to surprise John - nevermind you won't want to know - but he's managed to get himself stuck on a bloody elevator, and I need to be closer - in case... yes, yes, all right, ALL right, I said. I want to leave in ten minutes, I'm in the taxi now - thank you, Myc. John? John are you still there?"

"I'm here."

"I knew I should have gone with you."

"You hate these things. You would have hated it, been bored to tears, and my 'peers' are even more tedious than they were two years ago, I didn't think it possible -"

"Most things are possible, John. Some are just more improbable than others...."

"Like me getting stuck on this bloody elevator."

"Yes. Breathe, John. Just breathe for me, I'm almost at the airport - okay. I'm on the jet now. Are you still with me John?"

"I'm here, just keep talking to me - tell me something, something I don't know about you."

"You know everything you need to know, John."

John stretched out on the floor of the elevator and closed his eyes. "Tell me something no one else knows."

"Well... there was that stretch of time - you don't want to know -"

"No, I do."

"It was a bad stretch. During uni - I was so bloody bored, you have NO idea..."

John chuckled. "I think I do."

"No, it was worse, so I went out and found my dealer - she was usually reliable, but this time it was a bad batch, nasty stuff, I started hallucinating - first I was, no this is too silly - it's ridic -"

"Sherlock - now you have to tell me, you know you do -"

Sherlock sighed heavily, but knew he was beaten. "You know that bit in Hitchhiker's? When Arthur and Ford turn into different things?"

"Uhmhmmm?"

"Well, first I thought I was a watermelon, and then I was convinced I was a giant rubber band and then I decided in my infinite wisdom, I decided to pretend to be a lemon for a couple of weeks."

"Really, a lemon?"

"Mmmmhmm, it was a good choice, as it turned out, I mostly spent the time sleeping, curled up in a fetal position. Haven't slept that well since. Still... it was a bit boring."

"No."

"Oh, yes, it was boring as hell, I don't recommend it."


End file.
